


Surviving Ash

by thenightwriter1



Category: Warriors - Erin Hunter
Genre: Medicine Cat Ashfur AU, Other
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-05-08
Updated: 2019-05-08
Packaged: 2020-02-28 06:09:48
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,843
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18750598
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/thenightwriter1/pseuds/thenightwriter1
Summary: The medicine cat Ashfur au, is an au where Ashfur of ThunderClan becomes a medicine cat instead of a warrior after the death of his mother. This story will show his ups and downs in making that choice.





	Surviving Ash

**Author's Note:**

> Thanks to KatieK101 of Tumblr and Fanfiction.net for being a beta reader and help me out.

 

  
  


           Ashpaw swallowed his breath as his speckled gray pelt seemed to cling to his wiry frame. After they finished burying their mother, he glanced at Fernpaw. His heart was pounding inside his chest and he could barely think about anything other than  _ Brindleface is dead _ . 

 

The tom was shaking in place. He glanced at Fernpaw and hoped that she was too; Ashpaw didn’t know if it was normal for his body to react like this, but if his sister was reacting the same way, he’d be alright. However, Fernpaw wasn’t shaking or breathing heavily. Her green eyes did widen once she looked at him, though.

Ashpaw found himself wavering as he looked to the warriors that had accompanied them in burying their mother. They looked concerned as Ashpaw stepped forward. His paws felt light but the rest of him felt heavy. The sounds of the forest were quiet compared to his heartbeat, which seemed to fill his ears. 

He was confused.  _ Why is everyone looking at me like that? _ His confusion led to panic.  _ Why do I feel so weird?  _ This wasn’t normal, was it?

 

“Quick, we need to get him to Cinderpelt,” Fernpaw’s mew was laced with concern as she raced to her littermate’s side. “Something’s wrong with him!”

 

Ashpaw could barely comprehend what was going on around him. He understood the patrol was leading him forward, but his head was spinning and his heart pounded  _ painfully _ against his chest, in his ears. The forest seemed to shift randomly between his paws. Ashpaw barely noticed the worried glances his Clanmates exchanged as they continued to lead him.  _ What's wrong with me?  _ He wondered, feeling frantic. _ I don’t understand! _

 

“Come along Ashpaw, Cinderpelt is over here.” Frostfur’s soothing voice broke through his thoughts. “Lean on me alright?” He leaned completely on the she-cat as he stumbled into the medicine cat den. Cinderpelt seemed to be lost in her own thoughts as she prepared herbs. She was preparing herbs for something Ashpaw couldn’t really wrap his paw around at the moment. It most likely in preparation for the on suing fight as revenge for his mother’s murder. 

 

However, the duo’s arrival yanked her out of those thoughts. “Hello-  _ great StarClan _ !” Cinderpelt exclaimed, as she turned her head towards them. The medicine cat immediately jumped to her paws and gestured to one of the empty nests. “Frostfur, lay Ashpaw in one of those nests then go get him some wet moss. And if Fireheart hasn’t already left, tell him to come see me!”

 

Frostfur nodded and helped Ashpaw to a spare nest. He sank into the soft moss gratefully. His head continued to spin as he watched Cinderpelt rush around the den. He overheard her mumbling to herself as she dug around in her herb store.

 

_ “I told that fur-brain burying Brindleface would be too much for her kits, but did he listen to me? Noooo! Now look, I have to dig through my stock for chamomile because it was too much for Ashpaw!” _

 

The medicine cat finally seemed to find what she was looking for. She carried a white flower over and placed it in front of him, a gentleness returning to her voice as she meowed, “Eat this. It’ll help, I promise.”

 

Very slowly, Ashpaw obeyed and ate chamomile. As he chewed the flower, he watched Cinderpelt work. Once his entire world stopped spinning and he didn’t feel like he would topple over anymore, he got up and moved next to her. The chamomile was already affecting him, although he was still somewhat drained from earlier. 

 

He watched her work for a couple of heartbeats, then asked, “What are you doing?”

 

“Setting herbs aside for when Fireheart and his patrol return injured, of course,” Cinderpelt explained, a note of humor in her voice. She showed the apprentice her assortment of herbs and he gazed at them in awe. He had never visited the medicine cat den before now, thus he had never seen fresh herbs before; just the pale pulp on those with injuries, or cobwebs in trees while training with Dustpelt. 

 

He found himself fascinated by her assortment and wanted to know more about the herbs.  _ Why am I more interested in dumb ol’ herbs more than I’ve ever been with hunting or fighting?  _ Ashpaw wondered as he glanced to the entrance of the medicine cat den. 

 

Surely he was only interested in them for practical reasons, nothing more... right?  _ Yeah, that has to be it! _ And yet, he couldn’t shake off the thought that it might be something  _ more _ . He looked back to the assortment.  _ A little herb knowledge could do a future warrior good right? No real harm in learning about it. _

 

“What are the cobwebs used for, Cinderpelt?” Ashpaw asked softly, as he gestured to it with his paw. He gave the medicine cat an honest look of curiosity, which she returned with a smiled.

 

“The Cobweb is sticky, so it’s used to close open wounds.” Ashpaw nodded, committing the information to memory. Then he asked about the dandelions. “Oh, those? Dandelions are used to ward off infection.” Ashpaw continued to eagerly ask questions, and Cinderpelt continued to answer them. He consumed the information she fed him like it was fresh-kill and he had been starving for moons! 

 

Cinderpelt gestured to each herb with her tail as she spoke. “-and this Chervil is used on wounds already infected, but can also be used to help kitting queens, as it proves pain relief”

 

“That's so interesting! I-...” Ashpaw started but trailed off as Fireheart walked into the medicine den. His mentor, Dustpelt, followed him close behind. 

 

The warriors caught Cinderpelt’s attention immediately. She stood to her paws and padded over to them, leaving Ashpaw to stare at his paws.  _ I’m not breaking the warrior code by asking Cinderpelt questions, _ he reminded himself.  _ But then… why do I feel so… guilty? _ He could feel Dustpelt’s disapproving glare as if ants were crawling through his pelt. 

 

Ashpaw respected his mentor, of course, but lately, they didn’t have the best relationship. It started off great but began to change once Dustpelt took more of an interest in Fernpaw than him. Ashpaw appreciated that Dustpelt was looking out for his gentle littermate, but these days it was like Dustpelt forgot just  _ who  _ he was supposed to be mentoring. 

 

With a pang, Ashpaw realized that Dustpelt would neglect their training even more that Brindleface was dead. Fernpaw would need someone to lean on, and Dustpelt had become  _ her  _ cat…  _ but what about me? _

 

“Is Ashpaw going to be alright, Cinderpelt?” Fireheart asked worriedly. “Frostfur and Fernpaw said he started acting weird as they said good-bye to Brindleface.” Ashpaw was touched by the concern in the deputy’s voice. 

 

Dustpelt added, “Yeah, Fernpaw was pretty shaken-up too. I calmed her down and- _ oof _ !” He rubbed his muzzle and shot Cinderpelt a glare for whacking him with her tail. 

 

“He suffered a serious panic attack!” Cinderpelt hissed. Both warriors exchanged guilty glances at  _ that _ piece of information. “ _ I told you _ that it would be too traumatic for the kits to bury their own mother. Now, look at him,” Cinderpelt gestured towards Ashpaw with a lash of her tail. “Poor Ashpaw is physically drained from the attack. You're lucky that the patrol knew to bring him to me instead of blowing it off! He could have been seriously hurt if they hadn’t.”

 

“‘Well, thank StarClan he’s alright,” Dustpelt grumbled. When Cinderpelt pointed her glare at him, Dustpelt was quick to lower his gaze. Ashpaw thought his mentor looked a little guilty.

 

“This shouldn’t be taken lightly, Dustpelt. Ashpaw may look okay now but that’s because I gave him chamomile earlier. Before that, his heart was beating faster than a WindClan warrior in a race!” She finished with a hiss. Fireheart, ever the peacemaker, stepped between his Clanmates.

 

“What do you recommend we do, Cinderpelt?” Fireheart asked calmly, but Ashpaw could hear worry in his tone. He was caught off guard by his tone; Ashpaw figured that Fireheart only cared about Cloudtail since he was kin.

 

Cinderpelt inhaled a steadying breath, then exhaled. “I’d like for Ashpaw to spend the rest of the day resting here. You can send Cloudtail to bring him some fresh-kill.” Fireheart nodded, and even Dustpelt seemed to be paying attention now. “StarClan willing, he should be better by tomorrow.” 

 

Fireheart nodded crisply. “Alright. Ashpaw, you focus on rest, alright? Don’t worry about today’s training; you can pick up with Dustpelt tomorrow.”

 

His mentor nodded as well. “Right. I promised Fernpaw I would take her hunting to clear her mind tomorrow, so we can just turn that into a training session.” 

 

Ashpaw forced a smile and hoped the twinge of bitterness he felt didn’t show on his face.  _ Of course. When do we ever train by ourselves these days? It’s always with Fernpaw, Fernpaw, Fernpaw... _

 

After that, the warriors took the hint and left. Ashpaw returned to the spare nest and quietly watched Cinderpelt resume her work. 

 

For a while, there was peace and quiet. Ashpaw didn’t ask anymore questions, still reeling from the guilt he’d felt when Dustpelt caught him earlier. He was dwelling on that particular memory when Cloudtail entered the den, a fat mouse swinging in his jaws and concern pooling in his blue eyes. 

 

He felt guilty for admitting it even to himself, but the concern caught Ashpaw off guard. He had grown up beside Cloudtail like he was another littermate, and he could say surely that his foster brother was more arrogant than most warriors. If it didn’t benefit him, Cloudtail didn’t care about it. 

 

Cloudtail sat down beside him, concern still pooled in his eyes. He sat the mouse down and asked, “How are you feeling? Fireheart said you weren’t doing so good.” 

 

Ashpaw wasn’t sure how to answer that. What was he supposed to say?  _ Oh, I’m great! I just suffered a panic attack in the middle of burying our mother, but other than that… _ No, obviously he couldn’t say that. 

 

_ Don’t worry about me, Cloudtail. Dustpelt sometimes forgets that I’m his apprentice instead of Fernpaw, but I’m used to you guys getting all the attention. Congratulations on getting your warrior name so early, by the way. _

 

_ Hey, did you notice the gash on Brindleface’s cheek where the dogs ripped her flesh off? It really… that really… must’ve hurt... _

 

“Ashpaw?” Cloudtail asked again, his tone switching from gentle to frantic. “What’s wrong? Why are you crying?” 

 

_ I’m crying? _ He opened his jaws to protest, but he could only whimper. Then before he knew it he was sobbing into his paws, his words coming out in a broken slur. “ _ I don’t know, Cloudtail, I don’t know! _ ” The apprentice sobbed. 

 

Cloudtail laid his fluffy tail on Ashpaw’s back, clearly at a loss for words. At least he understood how much this was for one, young cat to face on their own. 

  
And maybe that was all Ashpaw needed. For someone to just sit beside him, not breathe a word, and  _ understand _ . 


End file.
